Ok. So this section of um, here – will be about my generally autistic view on relationships and people. It’s not a place to out folk or embarrass anyone other than myself really. But there’s always a ton I don’t get about people sometimes and usually it is in the nuances of conversation that are connected with close relations.
Try this for size. I asked a few ladies I know about this one and there was a varied response. This sometimes happens to me and sometimes it’s funny – other times it just makes me want to say something rude and stalk off. I have generally had and I am proud of what some people call AC/DC appeal. I’ve been approached by both men and women before and well – when you can’t even be bothered getting into the game, it’s pretty flattering and should be handled in a polite and civilised manner. It’s no biggie. But when both male and female start this sort of conversational direction, you kinda have to wonder what you are doing. Mostly this time around – male culprits but that’s also to do with the field I work in, there’s a lotta guys.
So. You talk work, blah networking, blah blah, media etc. You’re focused on the topic, I don’t drink either so it’s not like I’m prone to leering. It’s all good, there’s agreement or debate – wonderful. Then they drop lightly and clumsily into the chat – “..and my girlfriend..” Add whatever topic floats your boat, civil engineering, firewire, toasters, linguistics, speculative math…and the ref comes up. From my comfy seat there seems to be a small pressure not to react. In the slightest. No flicker, no blink, no nodding. Nothing. Just listening. Inside my head…. “Oh sweet Christ, you think because we’re not talking about bunnies that I’m hitting on you?” Many times I have considered wearing clothing that is embroidered with the phrase “Just because I am talking to you, does not mean I am at all tempted to try and sleep with you”, or, “If I look that hungry – it is because I have forgotten to eat.” Seriously though. It just seems to be rather jarring sometimes…though I fully understand it can be a natural affectation, those who are a little more secure talk about their other half by name, not by status and well – it’s just sorta clunky. Or is it me?
I return to the ladies I asked on this. Varied views. They’ve definitely had this happen before. It makes them wonder if they look desperate. This did not particularly help my disposition. Another pointed out that it could be alpha-dog talk. “Not only am I able to have an enlightened conversation, I am also attractive to women to the point where I indeed do, most definitely have a girlfriend. Consider it part of my success…” I’m not so sure about that one.
I’m sure in the past I mentioned boyfriends in conversation, but usually if there was something related to them in that context. Otherwise, my chats are my own. I’m guessing that it’s a clear indicator to avoid trickier possibilities in future conversations. In that case it makes sense, I guess. But it does sound odd for sure and well, I guess fellers are stuck, they just can’t do right by doin’ right.
In case you wondered – I’m married to my job. It’s complicated.